I hardly ever journey through the door anymore. It seemed so easy when I was reading the book about it, but now my meditations feel different. I see your face less often. In my waking hours, when my mind is silent, occasionally music starts playing in my mind, just as if it had come on the radio. Sometimes I hear my father singing. In both cases, I sing along out loud to prove I’m receiving it. As I swirl around our swimming pool in the cool sunshine, I feel you sending me another love song today. It’s Styx – Babe. I’m intrigued to receive mostly love songs from you. Different ones. Songs I’d forgotten. But songs I know. As I listen, it sounds like you’re apologizing for leaving me. Your body denied it, but your spirit knew it was time.
After Styx concludes, I hear a more cheerful song roll into my mind, Harry Nilsson’s Me and My Arrow, and with it, a smiling vision of our beloved dog Arrow, wearing her tie-dyed bandana against her golden fur, romping through ethereal hills with you right now. I love seeing and feeling her joy again.