I’ve come to realise that I haven’t journaled in over a month. It’s not that I’ve stopped thinking of you. Quite the contrary! It’s just that I’ve slipped into day-to-day living, working, and survival, with less time spent on meditation journeys and journaling. I do meditate, of course, but the sessions feel more like rests than adventures. The further into reality I go, the more I question all those experiences I had earlier. Were they real, or wishful thinking? Was my connection to you stronger when you first crossed over? It’s now been five months without you here on earth with me. I used to feel you more often, but now, not so much. I’m glad you came to me this week.
Our laptop computer, the one I’m using right now, was having so many problems; I could hardly use it anymore. I was never the house techie, but now what choice do I have? I called out your name for advice… and you answered. I actually felt your presence behind me, and a gentle hug against my back. I wasn’t afraid. But I questioned if this was real or not. I heard you clearly tell me to “update the drivers.” So I did, and so far the computer is behaving much better. Not perfect, but better. I also heard you clearly tell me, “You’re doing great… even better than I expected.” That made me laugh, because I’m not sure what you expected. I still cry when no one’s looking, and must conciously direct my mood into positive thinking daily.
Now that the kids are both in college, it’s just me and our lovely cat… really LOVELY cat! He now sleeps in bed with me, and jumps into my lap more often. He’s next to me right now. And I miss you. I am going to try some more exercises to reach you in Quantum… but yes, I also have a lot of work to do, earning more income and reducing expenses. You’d be proud of me. I’ve kept our business open and doubled my earnings by raising my rates and drumming up new business. My goal is to double it again and maintain that level so I can cover our monthly expenses.