Our niece married her lover yesterday. As we gathered to bear witness, waiting for the ceremony to begin, we talked to two of your old friends from college. One of them rambled on about a lifetime of unwanted bachelorhood, and the other made small talk with my sister. We listened politely to both bachelors. The one I spoke to said he retired early after earning enough in real estate, volunteers part-time to keep busy, and cares about nature. All sounds nice. While he spoke strangely (maybe he’s shy?), I listened politely and smiled, exploring any interest in him. Your voice came through to me. “No, not him. He’s crazy.” I know he was your friend, so I believe you. Even so, I decided I’d be open to more conversation if he ever sought me out at the party, but he never did.
Later in the evening, one of my uncles talked to me for a bit. He asked me hard questions (how are you? are you working? Will you sell the house? etc.) I felt interrogated. He pressed forward with advice. First, “the fish won’t jump in the boat.” He suggested I seek dating. He also said when I meet someone, I am “looking for company” not a relationship. It’s an easier level for entry? He told me he still misses his 1st wife who passed in the accident. He met his new wife within 3 months, because he needed a mother for his young children, but wouldn’t let anyone into his bed for a year. Someone arranged his introduction. I defended myself– I have no friends to set me up, nor do I work in an office. It would be unethical to date the men I meet in yoga. I told my uncle I go to social events with my sister every month or two. He nodded. After that, I felt bad, like I should be trying harder to move forward, to pair up again, and get back into a 2-income strategy. I admit that seems easier, but I’m also enjoying my independence and building my business.
Okay, that’s enough of me rambling on, stating all the thoughts you already know. I am here with fingers ready to type. Let me take a few deep breaths and then you decide to speak through them.
That quick cool breeze at the wedding, you felt it, you rose to think of me, and I was there. Thank you for bringing me in. That song that played from our favorite band, how unusual it is, to hear it there, and that was me. You rose to think of me, and I was there. Thank you for bringing me into your awareness to bear witness to this event. And to dance. Where there is joy, I rise to meet you and support you in your joy. All is okay over here. Just biding time which isn’t time at all. But it is how you understand it, okay. Think of the Doctor. Who? the Doctor. Living in the watch. That was me. You know the shows are very clever. They bring forth stories too fantastical to believe as real, and yet that’s what makes them more real, all the time, the truth comes forth in drips. From Amazon poets & prophets, and YouTube constellations. It’s all there, but you create the synthesis. The distillate. I am loving it all, from a near and a far. Forever we continue, eternally, twin flame. By your side. I remain. In all eternity. Soul contracts cannot be broken. I merely stepped aside from your side so you can realize your full protentional. And it is my pure joy to see that unfolding now. Life is but a moment, and whilst it may take you years, change is coming, for the better, patience, all is coming. Love is all there is.
– Your voice at my fingertips