After our kids moved out, I got rid of more things, fixed up the house, and hired a realtor to sell it. I seek financial equilibrium. Our beautiful house is slow to sell, so maybe I’m not letting go properly. My friend suggested that I try a smudging / Reiki healing ceremony to clear the energy. Great idea. This is usually done by the new owner looking for a fresh start, but why not. It couldn’t hurt. I didn’t expect what happened next.
I found the little bushel of sage I’d received from my Reiki teacher many years ago. I first thanked our house for its comfort and service, allowing us to safely raise our family here for over two decades. It protected us through the seasons, including a few hurricanes, and is a place of happy memories (and some sad). Then, I lit the sage and started walking through the house, repeating the Reiki symbols as the aromatic smoke swirled into the air and into the corners of the room.
Once I entered a spot in our dining room, I felt an overwhelming rush of your energy. As I stood before the spot where you stored and adored your wines, I cried and promised to keep you with me when I move. Within a few moments, the emotion passed and I continued my slow walk through the house, filling the corners with sage.
A few more areas of the house lit up with your energy, including the kitchen stove (where you cooked nightly dinner for our family), your side of the bed, our bathroom shower (where you once fell and I called 911 to save you), your office desk (where you worked & played daily), and your side of the garage (where you parked your beloved car). Each time I felt a flood of energy from you, I said out loud that I’m not letting you go, just trying to let the house go. I’m not sure if I cut cords to our house, but we’ll see. The sales effort continues.
I have Covid again. 3rd time since you died! At least I never gave it to you.
Every time I come to the piano, I’m drawn to play and sing the song we wrote– you, the words, me, the melody. Is this what it was like when you died?
Fell into the Sun, written on piano by you & me
Fell into the Sun, and there’s no one to catch me.
Sank into the fire, and my ire burns all around me.
Purified by heat & fire, softly laid upon the pyre.
Shot up to the moon, and my bones strewn all around me.
Bent into a flame, and the heat falls lame around me.
Hiding here and hiding there, I’m hiding from the cosmic stare
Not sure who I even am, I only know I am, I am.
Each time I close my eyes tonight. I feel my body taking flight.
Hiding here and hiding there, I’m hiding from the cosmic stare
Not sure who I even am, I only know I am, I am.