I’m sad today. Either I’m allowing more emotion to process, or I’m losing it. Your birthday is soon, but that’s just a date and you weren’t spiritually contracted to go that far. I start this morning watching an aerial video of Bora Bora and it’s just as beautiful as the visions shown to me in meditation. As I close my eyes to connect, I physically turn my head to the right to let some sunlight in. As I flow through visual space after seeing the large wooden arched door of a church, I enter and keep hearing this chant:
Sat Nam, Sat Nam, Sat Nam Gee Wahee Guru, Wahee Guru, Wahee Guru Gee
My grandmother comes through. She is loving, just as I remember, but seems tired, as if she is growing weary with the magnitude of prayers she answers for my side of the family daily. Even so, she doesn’t want me to feel forgotten and is saying “hi.” You are far away today, she says, and then instantly you are nearby. I marvel at your ability be in two places at once, spreading out your consciousness. I feel lost and ask you my next step. You say I can stay in this house forever and do nothing if I want to, which is reassuring, but do I want to?
Today, I discover Seth Speaks to learn more about the after life. I consume the audio book within a few days.