Why has this become so difficult? I’ve tried a few times to enter Quatum, but I’m not sure if I am arriving or if it is an illusion. The author suggests this is our own protection mechanism denying what is happening.
Today, during meditation, I asked to be shown the door. Nothing, only shades of darkness and faint stars. Am I already here? My thinking mind activates and takes me further away from meditation. As I struggle back, I demand to see you and I’m sure that’s not how this works. I sense that you and Arrow are far away, playing 5 football fields or sectors away, exploring space & time.
I ask if you are here and you say “yes, always, even when I’m far away” and I sense you on my right immediately. A moment later, you’re on my left. I envision your form laying upright on a couch, legs extended across the seats. I’m looking down over your right shoulder and observe Arrow resting between your legs. I hear the song, “Me & My Arrow” by Harry Nilsson playing in my mind.
I ask for a beach and one comes into view briefly, but mostly I’m seeing shades of darkness with bright flashes of purple light. I sense that you think I’m doing fine and can handle things from here. I realize I’m about to send out a proposal for our business, and for the first time, you’re not here to review it with me. It’s another step towards my forced independence. I’m growing, but I don’t like it.
I notice I’m thinking again, so I take a deep breath to continue. I open my eyes to view the palm trees’ waving fronds in the wind. It’s a cool spring morning bathed in sunshine and I feel cool air ushering in through the window. In this moment, as I take in the sparkling majesty of nature outside the window, I feel you around me and in everything. Your warm energy is a tint. I am comforted to know I can experience you even with my eyes open. That place in my mind that “sees” things can still process images, even when I’m looking at other things with my earthly eyes.